Christmas shopping finally started here yesterday, with 8 days to go. I was focusing on Miss 1, who has become obsessed with Peppa Pig. When I say obsessed I mean that is all she watches, plays with and talks about. She dominates the TV set with that boar. Off I went to Kmart and armed myself with a trolley.
And – nothing. The Peppa Pig section was pretty much bare except for a stupid microphone, mini stuffed pigs and a few other boring toys. So I grabbed the nearest worker and asked where the Pig toy crates were.
“That’s all we have left” she said as she ran past me at lightening speed. So I ran after her. Slowly.
“You mean to tell me, that 8 days out from Christmas a major store has run out of the most popular kids licensee in the world?”
She didn’t even answer me. She kept running. Hopefully to America to restock the shelves by tomorrow morning. So I looked around and the toys have pretty much gone.
ALL OF THEM.
I spent about an hour filling my trolley with crap. Cheap toiletries for the girls. Cheap nanna undies for me. A few other things I didn’t want or need. Kmart is great for cheap stuff. And as I went around three different shoppers said to me “I hate Christmas shopping” I felt their pain and told them so. Then I told them I had 5 kids and was only just starting and they looked at me like I was a headless turkey.
Right when I was about to finish and I’d thrown the last $1.50 coconut body scrub into my stash, the loudspeaker started talking.
“Our eftpos is down, we are working on this issue” Like you’re working on the #%%^^ Peppa Pig crisis?
I grabbed the nearest worker who was a young lad restocking coconut body glitz spray and asked him if this was a joke, it had to be a joke, the only person who carries cash around is my 19 year old who loses his bank card twice a day, and did he have a Peppa Pig stash hidden?
And we laughed. We laughed hard and for a long time. A very long time. I made my way to the checkout which was 30 feet deep with cashless people holding up everyone by running to the nearest bank. By the time I got to the front the eftpos was working again. Which was lucky for them because I was going to demand my non Peppa stash for free by then.
I got home and surveyed the mound of crap I’d purchased and made the best decision regarding my Christmas shopping thus far. A sensible, educated mature one.
Tomorrow morning I’m going back to Kmart and sitting there till they find me every Peppa Pig toy known to man kind.
And I’m not leaving till I get it.