children

Dear Husband…..

February 26, 2016

Dear Husband,

To date I have experienced 26 years of that time of the month, minus the 5 x 9 months of pregnancy when I was so sick and fat it didn’t compensate. I’ve given birth 5 times vaginally, haemmoraged and almost died once. I’ve had over 80 internal stitches and a number of external ones. I’ve thought my insides were falling out after one birth which turned out to be severe case of constipation which the nurses offered to manually remove for me, and breastfed our children for approximately 4 years.

Some would say I have endured a lot. I’m sure I have.

I’m 40 now, and our family is done. Complete. Over. Finalised. We actually decided that after number 4 but got a bonus çhild.

Why? Because you won’t have a vasectomy.

We have discussed it. Our obstetrician highly recommended you have one, and that my body has been through enough. I really love that doctor. He gave us the information, leaflets. A referral. THREE TIMES. It’s not rocket science. You’re an educated man. You ring up, you book an appointment and you go and have it done. I can do it for you if that’s easier. I’ve offered enough. You say you will do it.

SO WHY HAVEN’T YOU DONE IT?

Vasectomy

We discussed purchasing our house less than this, and that was a 30 year commitment.  Marriage. You asked I said yes end of discussion.

Sure, you say you’ll have a vasectomy. You’ve said that for years. Once you said you’d go on a boys trip to Vegas and have it done. When that was laughed out of the ball park you suggested the Gold Coast so you could “recover”

Hello. I birthed kids and 5 seconds later had to feed them for the next 2 years round the clock. I don’t recall having trips to alleviate my trauma.

I’ve researched vasectomies. There’s a place down the road that does it. They offer to sedate you, and you might feel a bit of discomfort for a few days afterwards. But then you’re back to normal activity within a week – tops. I’ll baby you, because lord knows a runny nose puts you on your ass for days on end. I think it’s your turn to stand up and say “I’ll do this – you’ve done your bit.”

It’s time.

I’ve decided to give you till mid year. If it’s not done by then I will take one for the team – again – and against medical advice go and have a tubal ligation. If you do force me into doing it though, I’ll be having it performed in Tahiti.

After all, I’ll need time to recover from the trauma.

Signed
Wifey

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