When we met, my husband was 90kg. I was a lot lighter too than I am now. Four kids in 9 years – 81 months of pregnancy with the majority of that suffering from all day sickness saw a lot of takeaway meals. The kilos started packing on both of us, and they remain to this day.
We welcomed our first child together 14 months after we got married. We also welcomed the start of his snoring becoming unbearable. The snoring wasn’t just any snoring: it was like you were standing at Central Station in peak hour. Non stop, ear breaking snoring. He’d gasp for air, cease breathing and start again. If he drinks multiply that noise by one thousand.
Sure, I told him. But like all snorers they wake up and yell “I wasn’t snoring” They can’t hear themselves. I taped it. He tried sprays. Tablets. Every over the counter remedy that was available. It stopped nothing. I would go to bed earlier than him in the hope of getting an hour in. I would shove him in the back, hold his nose, poke and prod him.
It came to a head one night when he woke to me sitting on him pretending to stab him in the chest. He laughed. I wasn’t joking. Unless you’ve lived with a snorer you can’t understand. I moved onto the lounge and got the best night sleep I had had in years.
We added more kids, the snoring continued and got worse. I moved permanently into the spare room. He got more sleep, I got more sleep. I stopped trying to kill him at night. For the snoring anyway.
About 12 months ago he went to a sleep clinic and stayed overnight. He was diagnosed with sleep apnoea, the doctor said for someone so young it was severe. Onto a CPAP machine and over time the snoring has stopped. What I’d been telling him for years had been confirmed by specialists: his snoring was life threatening and intolerable.
These days we are still in seperate rooms but not due to the snoring: our three year old has taken over my side of the bed and won’t move out, and our one year old crawls into my bed most nights. Everyone gets more sleep.
I’ve had people say they think it’s not right, spouses should sleep together and what about intimacy? My response to that is four kids in 9 years – and if the only time you’re intimate is in your bed after 9pm it’s time to spice up your love life.
It works for our house for now, and won’t be changing anytime soon if our youngest two buttons have any say in the matter.