I don’t drink alcohol.
I used to. A lot. When I was younger (too young now I have a teenage son) I used to drink like a fish. Smashed those babies down like a toddlers block tower.
What most people don’t know is why I stopped drinking.
When son #1 was about 2 I went out, drank all night. Got home late – he woke up early. And mum had a hangover bigger than Texas, with a migraine to boot. I was alone in the house with no partner to let me sleep it off. And I literally could not get up. The next hours were spent with him bringing me every item of food in the fridge and cupboards. We napped together. Then I got up and surveyed the damage. To the house and myself. Neither was pretty. Food crunched into every floor surface available, the house was destroyed. It was by no means my first hangover, but it was the worst.
And as I drove my sorry self to Maccas I vowed never to drink again. If I had a dollar for time I’ve heard that off someone else, I’d be as rich as Daddy Warbucks. But I actually did it.
That should have been that.
But when you don’t drink alcohol people think you’re:
A – pregnant
B – a recovering addict
C – a freak
When you tell them it’s D – you just choose not to, they think you’re plain mad.
Continue to you’re a mother of 5 children who range from 19 years to 9 months and you don’t crack a wine at 5 daily, they want to have you certified.
“How can you? I’d be drinking all day! “Wine’s my best friend. I love wine more than my husband. Want me to buy you a vineyard?”
Truth be told, the only thing that scares me more than my toddler loose in a china shop is dealing with this lot with a hangover – because they would rip me up and tear me apart.
Lately, I’ve discovered wine. Not the $2 passion pop I drank as a young lass – expensive top notch red. And you know what? I like it. I don’t drink it at home at 5 – but I do have a small glass at dinner occasionally. Whoever told me years ago there was no difference between cheap and expensive grog was wrong.
Watch this space. I might make a comeback yet.