There’s many things I dislike about parenting, but there’s one thing every parent seems to enjoy with their child that I don’t – or the world is full of undiscovered acting talent.
And that’s going to the park.
When we purchased our house a few years back I had few requirements – one level, and a big backyard. We got given a swing set, I trawled selling sites on Facebook and got a bargain climbing frame. They’ve got a trampoline and are lucky enough to have a pool. It’s a kids paradise.
Yet when asked, the number one requested activity is “let’s go to the park” Translated – let’s go up the road to the dodgiest park in the world that only has one swing, and fight over it – not only with each other, but every other child whose parents have been roped into the same torture for the morning.
There’s two types of parents at the park – the ones who look like they’d rather have their kidneys removed than be there, or the happy, active parent who follows little Mary and Johnny around pushing them on swings and breaking up squabbles between other kids.
I fall into the first category.
When I do go, I am going to get 5 minutes peace from my kids, and to hopefully have a rest on the uncomfortable bench seat the council provides. What I get is fights, crying, requests to push on a swing, and endless other things I am too tired to deal with.
The park reached its end about a month ago. I had bundled the two youngest in the car, and decided to brave it. Master 2 had made a friend and the baby was happy sucking on my car keys. For about 5 seconds I thought this had been a good idea. Before he told me though, I smelt it.
“I pooed” said Master 2, lying down on the concrete. It was an epic effort. Once I finished changing him, I looked at new friend, who was loyally waiting and watching.
“I pooed too” said little friend. I wasn’t sure what was worse – the two of them had tandem pooed together, or the fact that I got up and went to pick him up and lay him down to change his nappy. The mother came over and rescued her son before I got down to the nitty-gritty.
If you live near me my backyard is now open. You can use our outdoor toys, swings, trampoline and whatever else you like. I won’t bore you with endless chit-chat.
If you’re lucky, I may even change your kids nappy.