The term “The Terrible Twos” has been used with my first four children, and was no doubt used to describe my behaviour during my third year of life. Despite using it frequently I have never believed the Terrible Twos actually existed.
I just thought that all kids between the ages of 18 months – 4 years were mongrels a large percentage of the time.
It was an excuse this “Terrible Twos” rubbish. A myth. Something everyone said when their kid was a turd, and when used everyone nodded their heads and the turd behaviour was justified.
When I had my 5th child I was promised by everyone that she would fit right in to our lives. “She will slot in, her siblings will help, she will be easy going, placid, no trouble, hell this kid will raise HERSELF” and be cooking the family dinner by 6 months of age. And on a whole she has.
Until the last two weeks.
Suddenly, the quiet last child has turned into the demon from hell, and that’s a nice description. Screaming. Crying. Tantrums. Fits of rage. Bad tempered. Needy. Whinging. Whining. Yelling. Demanding. Little. Diva.
Her cup isn’t the right colour. Her eyelashes hurt. Her milk is white. Her sister looked at her. She wants a raise. Her pink doll doesn’t talk. She has two hands. She wants four feet. She wants to be an only child. She wants another baby.
Both my husband and I are in shock. We thought we had seen it all – but this kid has taken life to a new level. Every single thing is an ordeal. She doesn’t like clothes, shoes or socks. Won’t wear hats, dresses or tights. Hates jackets and jumpers. Wants to be picked up 24/7. Wakes up scowling like a 17 year old with no phone credit. Won’t change her nappy. Everything and anything is no no no.
In short, she’s making our lives hell.
Our other kids were not like one. The first was the first so I thought he farted rainbows. The two girls were saints. Floyd is a one of a kind special type of lunatic. This last one? She takes the cake, and wants to eat it all in front of us.
So I ask you: is the Terrible Twos a real thing? Is this a phase and I will get my easy going princess back?
Or has Miss Attitude finally woken up and this is her?
Am I going to be raising the demon warrior or will she snap out of it when she turns three?