The Asshole Sister…

November 1, 2016

Born the middle child with sisters on either side of me, I had one four years older and one four years younger. I was the asshole of the family. Memories of fighting with my sisters (caused by me) come rushing back to smack me in the face lately. Really bloody hard.

Put simply, I was a mean sister. I’d take the older ones stuff and drive her nuts, annoy her when her friends came around and dob on her. The younger I’d just be mean to for fun and games. I would not let her touch my stuff, hide books so she couldn’t read them, pick fights and tell her she was a cow. They’ll tell you it, I’ll say it: I was the cause of the house being full of crying, screaming girls and my dad sticking his head in the door and running to the pub before entering. My mum used to walk around with a vacant look a lot of the time. She loved to smirk and say “I hope you get a child just like you are” and I would think so do I. I thought I was amazing.

I did not think being an asshole sister was hereditary.

My 8 and 9 year old daughters make me look like Minnie Mouse on ecstasy.

The fighting has escalated lately to an unbearable level. It begins when they wake up and concludes for 8 hours overnight then we start again.

“She took my hairband”
“She kicked me”
“You are not my sister”
“Get my sports top off”
“You have no friends”
“I hate you”
“You are an idiot”
“I’m a better dancer/reader/writer/singer than you”


Then, it turns physical. Kicks, hits, the odd punch here and there. A shoe flying through the air. Doors slamming. Hair flying. Clothing dumped on one side of the room and kicked over an imaginary line carved down the centre. When I eventually intervene, they turn on me.

“You love her more than me”
“Why don’t you defend me?”
“She’s always been your favourite”
“You never listen to me”
“Why are you taking her side?”
“That’s it, I am leaving home”
“You like her more than me”

The last one leaves me an inch from telling them that isn’t true, I hate them both equally when they fight like this. It drives me insane. My blood pressure rises till my head almost explodes. Why do they fight over a hairband when we have 200 in the house? Why are they mean for the sake of it? Why do they attack one another like wild savages over a cup? When will it end?

It definitely is hereditary. My sisters have a lot to answer for passing their assshole sister genes onto my girls.

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply