children

The Thermomix Cult

March 11, 2016

In 2014 I won a Thermomix. My husband refused to buy me one due to my below average culinary skills, so I told him I’d win one –  and did. When I started telling people, the most common response after “WOW” was “Welcome to the cult.” I’d never heard of a cooking cult and thought they were joking.

They were not.

I belong to no fewer than 10 Thermomix related Facebook groups. Recipes, Weight loss, How to love your Thermie, 300 Thermie meals in 7 minutes. Let’s Thermomix with Daphne. You name it I’m on it. They go beserk when cook books are released, post pictures of mass cookups and selfies of their butlers pantries with custom designed spice racks.

I’ve tried to love my Thermomix, but it’s an overpriced blender that can cook. Despite what the cult members will tell you it’s not going to change your life. The best cook I know is my brother in law, and not only doesn’t he own one – I don’t think he’s ever used one. I’ve made spaghetti that had the texture of dog food, stroganoff that tasted like old socks and mashed potato that was a flop. The food it creates is tasteless and boring.

Thank God I didn’t pay $2089 for one. Still, I stayed in these Thermie groups hoping to one day get inspired to mill my own oatmeal. They were a passionate but harmless cult.

Then, a Perth mother received second degree burns when her Thermie lid blew off. Her injuries were horrific. And the cult members came out in full support.

Of a machine.

“It must have been her fault. It wasn’t the THERMOMIX. She used it the wrong way. Did she put the SEAL on properly? It wasn’t the THERMIE’S FAULT. They’re just jealous non Thermomix owners.”

Then the memes started.

Like this

thermie
And this

thermomix 1
To those who defended a piece of metal over an injured woman – grab a fistful of quinoa seeds, some self-milled flour and a cup of buttermilk – 4 minutes speed 3 100 degree temp and make yourself a cup of “It’s just a machine.”

It’s the best recipe Thelma will ever make you.

You Might Also Like

2 Comments

  • Reply nicole t March 11, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    You crack me up. I love your posts

  • Reply Naomj March 12, 2016 at 12:46 am

    Couldn’t have said it better myself and it’s not just 1 woman but 2.

  • Leave a Reply