children

#THEFLOYDFILE #2

March 18, 2015

The fun never stops with this kid. A non stop amusement park, guaranteeing 24/7 entertainment.

Toilet training is an epic failure. He’s decided doing number 2’s is reserved for squatting over the garden, while announcing it to anyone who happens to be nearby, including the postman. I don’t think he appreciated being asked to wipe his backside.

Swimming lessons now consist of extra staff having to be in the pool, just to make sure he doesn’t jumimagep to the bottom – and sit there waiting to be retrieved. He has also developed a new habit – hoarding and hiding. I think he’s in training for Survivor. Everywhere I turn, he has stolen things and hoarded them. Batteries in the fridge, biscuits in his drawers, textas, homework books, car keys, computer mouse, the girls jewellery  – there’s some big black hole only he is aware of – and my credit card is somewhere in it. I want it back.

His favourite saying at the moment is “mum/dad I don’t like ya” when we make the obligatory sad face, he replies with “but I love ya” where does a 2 year old learn that? And how are we meant to respond?

He’s decided a diet of bananas (4 a day) vegemite toast (about 5 bits a day) and strawberries (thinly sliced) is balanced enough. It has to be served on the Octonauts plate (never the bowl) and accompanied with a blue napkin he never uses. If you get it wrong, look out. I served him tacos – which he proceeded to fill with half a 500gram packet of grated cheese, then declare he didn’t like it – and throw it at his sisters. Sour cream and all.

But story of the fortnight has to go to an episode at the shops. He wanted a pink tea towel. I said no. Apart from the fact we have enough tea towels, it was ugly.

Cue tantrum of epic magnitude.

I walked off leaving him star fished on the floor of Kmart – and hid behind a clothes rack. A lovely old lady stooped  down, grabbed his hand and knowing full well I was – said to him “come on darling, is that your mummy?

And my beautiful 4th child looked – stopped screaming, eye balled me – looked at lovely old lady and smiled.

“Nope, dat not my mummy”

Love you too mate.

You Might Also Like

9 Comments

  • Reply renee waite March 20, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    My girl and i would love to go on the dodgem cars she loves it and we wiuld be so excited! My girl is a thrillseeker not even 5 yet

  • Reply Amy @ HandbagMafia March 20, 2015 at 9:28 pm

    Ah yes, do you get told it’s a “lovely age” all the time too? 🙂 He sounds like an absolute character!

    • Reply MumToFive March 20, 2015 at 9:29 pm

      Every single day Amy!!!

  • Reply Karin @ Calm to Conniption March 20, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    Bahahaha! Hilarious, sorry. We are currently on the major hunt for a FitBit that has been “stored” because it was “dirty”.

    • Reply MumToFive March 21, 2015 at 10:33 am

      I can’t type on my computer because the mouse was to my brand new mac – I only had it a week! It’s been missing a while now 🙂

  • Reply Christine @ Adventure, Baby! March 21, 2015 at 2:19 am

    Toilet training is THE WORST. We’ve been battling it here for a year and still not there yet. Good luck! #aussieparentingbloggers

  • Reply Hayley @ House of many Minions March 22, 2015 at 2:57 am

    Hahahahaha! Oh to know what goes through the mind of the under five’s.
    Thankfully our ‘black hole’ is under Will’s pillow. Or behind the couch. They are the first point of call when anything is lost.

  • Reply Sara | Kid Magazine March 22, 2015 at 11:19 am

    I’m so glad I’m not your postman 🙂 But bananas, vegemite toast and strawberries sound acceptable – at least there is some fruit in there!

  • Reply Mumma McD March 23, 2015 at 3:58 am

    Sounds like a pretty balanced diet to me!!

    My 20 month old has started the magpie behaviour recently… I found one of my earrings, the tv remote, his sister’s shoe & my tongs all hiding in his bottom drawer…

  • Leave a Reply